Black Ball Sports

As football season begins and people begin to get excited about their teams and trash talking other teams, some rules need to be established. As a Redskins fan whose team got embarrassed last Thursday night I’ve already experienced some extreme trash talking. But hey that’s the rules of the life that I’ve chosen. And I talk trash with the best of them, but they are those who need to understand the rules of the game.

#1 - If you talk before and during the game you must talk after the game win or lose - I have a friend, who will rename nameless, who is a huge Giants fan, and ever since the opening game between the Giants an Redskins was announced this summer we’ve been going at it. All game this past Thursday we were going at it back and forth. And when the game ended and they had thoroughly dominated us, he called. I answered the phone and took all the beating that I deserved. He then called again 3 times the next day and that doesn’t even include the numerous texts I received. But I was disappointed when he said I was the only Redskins fan that was answering the phone. That is ridiculous on the part of the Redskins fans he knows. If you give it you have to take it as well. Answer your phone take it like a MAN and get it over with. What you going to be scared to answer your phone???

#2 - You can’t talk trash to someone only after the final score. - While I took it from my friend who had been talking trash the whole game, I refuse to talk with the trash talker sniper. A Giants fan I know sent me a text after the game talking trash. Like I said earlier I will take the trash talking but don’t be a punk and only say stuff when the game is over. Real MEN talk the whole game. Any WOMEN can call and say stuff after the game is over.

#3 - If your not a REAL fan don’t talk trash to a REAL fan. -

I’m a die hard Redskins fan. The kind that when they lose it messes up my life. Can’t really sleep, probably get into a dumb argument with my girl or at work. It might not be right but hey that’s who I am. I have no problem talking trash with die hard fans of other teams. That way I know they fully understand the suffering we as die hards go through. But the fan who isn’t really into their team need not apply. If you call me to talk trash when your team beats my team that’s fine. But when my team beats your team, please don’t try to claim your not that into your team. Or say something like “I forgot we were playing today.”. If your not really into your team, don’t come at me about my team.

#4 - Your team has to be at a certain level to even talk to me. -

I will willingly go back and forth with any fan of a credible team. In football that means I will talk to: Pittsburgh, New England, Indianapolis, Dallas, New York Giants, San Fran, Philly, Chicago and Oakland fans. These are teams that have won a lot of Super Bowls or have been consistently good the last couple of years. This came up a while back when a San Diego fan tried to talk trash with me. Usually I follow the policy of if you don’t have at least 2 Super Bowl rings I won’t talk to you. But this guy kept going on and on. So I said how many Super Bowl rings yall Got? He said none. I said well holla at me when yall got 1 and then we can talk. Haven’t heard from that guy again yet.

#5 - With new technology please check with the Fan your talking trash with - In the older days you could only talk trash in person or over the phone. But now with texts and emails there are more ways to get at your counterparts. Before you send your trash talking counterpart hundreds of texts before, during and after a game make sure they have unlimited texts. I know, I know in this day and age who doesn’t have unlimited texts? But be certain, because nothing ruins good trash talking like hearing your friend complain about an excessive phone bill.

#6 - If your not a real fan of the team don’t talk to real fans of the team -

Nothing is more annoying than a part-time Redskins fan calling me after a loss and saying something stupid like “at least we only lost by 9.” A loss is a loss and REAL fans go through the same emotions whether it is a 1 point or 30 point loss. But the fan who is even more annoying is the one that pretends to be a fan of your team. It’s like this, I can talk about my family but you can’t. So don’t call me talking about my team and expect me to listen if your not a real part of the family. Say something you’re not supposed to say to someone actually in the family and that could get you into a lot of trouble, especially at the home stadium and after a number of beers. Not a threat, just a warning.

If you follow these rules it will make the enjoyment of football season so much greater and will make you a trash talk legend like myself. I’ve lived in numerous cities and visited numerous others, so I have a Million Man March list of people I talk trash with. And although we’ve said some bad things to each other, because I follow the above rules I’m still respected and a first ballot Hall of Fame trash talker.

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